One of these Things is not like the Others

So I played poker at the VFW (Veterans of Foreign Wars) last night, about 15 minutes outside of Athens. Somewhere along the drive I crossed over the republican-democrat line and didn't know about it. I walk in and it's not exactly what I expected somehow. The following is a list of things I see:

1 hand quilted American flag on the wall
1 American flag dedicated to those killed in the 9/11 attacks on the wall
1 very old poster of the Pledge of Allegiance on the wall
1 extremely bad combover (I only saw one, I bet there were more)
10+ Budweiser collector series mirrors, including 1 for each branch of the US military
2 paintings of dogs playing poker
1 gun rack with 12 guns (and 3 empty spots where there should be guns)
1 saying of the Pledge of Allegiance prior to the tournament
1 cubic ton of cigarette and cigar smoke
1 utterly sloshed Vietnam vet getting the bum's rush
94 poker players, 90% of which were less talented than the dogs mentioned earlier
1 pair overalls (worn by unintelligible crotchety old man)
1 WWII vet that hates me (I'll discuss that later)
1 retarded morbidly obese ugly as fuck Taco Bell employee (with a faux-hawk)
1 college student wearing Columbus Crew soccer jersey and cargo shorts

Let's play a game: One of these things is not like the others. Care to guess? That's right, the college student. And by college student... I mean me. Yea, that was fun. I felt right at home with my liberal arts college ass in the middle of this Bush-loving red state clusterfuck.

Okay, so there were other college kids there, but none wearing a fucking soccer jersey. What the fuck was I thinking?

So that was sufficiently awkward. Oh, and that WWII vet that hates me? Yea, he wants my balls in a jar on the mantle. Let me explain: I'm already knocked out, and Nick (aka Miller Time) is at a table with him. Vet-man pushes Nick all in, Nick calls with AK to his 77, Nick catches Ace and King on flop, he wins, Vet gets pissed. I'm sitting behind him, saying 'nice take' and shit, and the following ensues:

Vet: 'Excuse me, are you playing at this table?'
Me: 'Uh, no.'
Vet: 'Then get the hell away.'

Note: I did nothing wrong. At all. Normally, I'd smack a guy who said that to me in the mouth (verbally of course) . But this is obviously his home field, so I quietly leave the table.

Shortly there after, he's knocked out. I'm playing solitare 20 feet away, but he walks by on the way to the bar. As he passes...

Me: 'Hey, sorry if I did anything wrong, I...'
Vet: 'You try to pull that crap again and I'll make sure you don't play here again.'

At that point I should have made a comment about his dead mother and how she never really loved him and that's why he had to join the army, but I thought better of it. I thought about making an inference about how gays shouldn't be in the military, let alone be at the VFW talking trash to college kids, but I have more self control than that. I thought about asking him how the flashback of the Battle of Midway was going, but I didn't because I have respect for the soon-to-be dead citizens of this great country. The fact of the matter is this guy was an arrogant ass who thought that he actually had the authority to make me leave the side of a table (instead of me avoiding confrontation with a battle worn veteran like any sane person would do).

God bless the USA, and God bless the veterans who fought for it. Not all of them though 'cuz some of them, like the guy at the VFW, suck.

Although slobbery Vietnam vet who got kicked the fuck out, you can party with me any time.