You look like somebody I know...

I look like other people more than other people. Let me clarify: People tell me that I look like people they know. A lot. I'd say about 4-5 times a week some person I don't know makes mention that I "look like (insert name here)." I think I get the "hey, you look like this guy I know from..." line more than any other person on the planet. I guess I'm just very normal looking to some people, which is great if I ever become a felon. No one would be able to identify me.

"Attention all cars: be on the lookout for Caucasian male, normal height, normal build, brownish lightish hair, darkish lightish eyes. He is armed and considered extremely dangerous."
"What's he done?"
"I dunno, the normal stuff I guess."

"Ma'am, which one is the man who stole your TV and raped your dog?"
"I don't know, but this guy looks like a guy I went to high school with. Does that help?"
"No Ma'am, it doesn't."

Occasionally I'll get drunk or high people who are so utterly convinced that I'm somebody they know that I can't convince them otherwise.

"Dude, Bobby!"
"No, uh, my name is Reuben."
"PSHSHSH, quit playin' Bobby. How ya been man?"
"Uh... Good?"

At that point I just play along, because there's an old maxim that you should never get into a fight with an idiot or a drunk, and often times these kinds of people are both. That's a double whammy! I'll begin to reminisce about "That one time... when we went to that place... to do that thing... Remember? Huh? 'Member? He remembers, stop playin' Bobby!" So that's 10-15 minutes of free entertainment on a Saturday night right there.

Of course I get that because of how generic I look to other people, which I want to vehemently deny. I don’t think I look that normal, or for that matter like any other people. In the range of famous people I've been told I look like (among others) Jim Carrey, Billy Idol, and Paul McCartney. Except without the talent. Hooray.

This all leads me to believe that my buddy Ben's screen name is entirely too generic for the IMing populace. You see, he took part in the following train wreck of a conversation, which strangely resembles my personal misadventures in mistaken identity.

(The names have been changed to protect the innocent)

(tummysquashinsect): hey baby!
(Ben): hey
(tummysquashinsect): : are college girls hotter than me?
(Ben): I'll admit something...
(Ben): I have no idea who this is.
(tummysquashinsect): : remember we were like the couple in high school
(tummysquashinsect): : did it a few times!!
(Ben): Fairly sure that I never had a girlfriend in high school
(Ben): Who do you think that this is?
(tummysquashinsect): : It's Charlie!!
(Ben): My name's Ben
(tummysquashinsect): : stop joking silly!
(Ben): not kidding
(tummysquashinsect): : I know our relationship ended badly buyt stop okay
(Ben): Thus, I frankly have no idea whether or not college girls are, in fact, hotter than you
(Ben): Because I don't know yo
(tummysquashinsect): : are they hot tho?
(Ben): Yes. If Charlie, whoever he may be, is attending college, he is no doubt surrounded by a large number of hot girls at his school.
(tummysquashinsect): signed off at 4:23:41 PM.

Oh Ben; welcome to my world. The good news is that you'll never have to worry about the police coming after you for illegal music downloading because they won't be able to pick your screen name out of a lineup.

That last line seems like a weak way to end this thing. Also, I didn't really curse at all, and I like to end with a quick one liner with some dirty words sprinkled in. Oh, well. Sucks for you.

Fucking bitch's twats.