America Turns 300... Million
Well done America, you've done it. And done it. And done it some more.
Because we Americans have done it so much, the US Census Bureau predicts that the United States will top the 300 million person milestone sometime on Tuesday, October 17th, 2006. What they don't know, however, is what race, religion, sexual orientation, or any other distinguishing characteristics the newest American might have. In fact, they don't even know if the landmark resident will be a newborn. It might be an illegal immigrant.
For those of you who question our government's ability to count to 300 million, the US Census people have a nifty little equation for you: on average, there is a baby born in the United States once every 7 seconds, an immigrant (legal or otherwise) enters the US once every 31 seconds and one person leaves thier mortal coil as an American citizen once every 13 seconds. My quick math skills tell me that's a net gain of 1 new resident every 11 seconds.
When the good ol' US of A hit the 200 million mark way back in 1967, 62 years after we set the 100 mil' mark in 1905, foreign born residents made up a measly %5 of the population. Since then, thanks in part to Mexico and Cuba being generally crappy places to live, that number has grown to %12. Put another way, immigrants and their children and grandchildren have accounted for more than half of the population increase in the United States since 1967, which makes sense because we've added another tenth of a billion in less than half the time it took us to get there the time previous, this time taking our reproductive organs only 39 years to add all those bundles of joy.
So we don't really know what that lucky 300 millionth resident's genetic makeup will be, but if I know anything about our government then I know this: when number 300 million sees the 400 millionth happy customer arrive (which the Census predicts will happen in 2040) at age 34, I'm sure that they'll be happy to have the war in Iran be nearly completed.
Because we Americans have done it so much, the US Census Bureau predicts that the United States will top the 300 million person milestone sometime on Tuesday, October 17th, 2006. What they don't know, however, is what race, religion, sexual orientation, or any other distinguishing characteristics the newest American might have. In fact, they don't even know if the landmark resident will be a newborn. It might be an illegal immigrant.
For those of you who question our government's ability to count to 300 million, the US Census people have a nifty little equation for you: on average, there is a baby born in the United States once every 7 seconds, an immigrant (legal or otherwise) enters the US once every 31 seconds and one person leaves thier mortal coil as an American citizen once every 13 seconds. My quick math skills tell me that's a net gain of 1 new resident every 11 seconds.
When the good ol' US of A hit the 200 million mark way back in 1967, 62 years after we set the 100 mil' mark in 1905, foreign born residents made up a measly %5 of the population. Since then, thanks in part to Mexico and Cuba being generally crappy places to live, that number has grown to %12. Put another way, immigrants and their children and grandchildren have accounted for more than half of the population increase in the United States since 1967, which makes sense because we've added another tenth of a billion in less than half the time it took us to get there the time previous, this time taking our reproductive organs only 39 years to add all those bundles of joy.
So we don't really know what that lucky 300 millionth resident's genetic makeup will be, but if I know anything about our government then I know this: when number 300 million sees the 400 millionth happy customer arrive (which the Census predicts will happen in 2040) at age 34, I'm sure that they'll be happy to have the war in Iran be nearly completed.
reubs wrote this piece of shit at 3:56 AM
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