Horse Shit
Taking into account the firestorm of controversy my latest post ignited, I thought that my next post should be about something we can all agree on:
Horse racing sucks.
Do you disagree? No, of course not. You know why? Because less people care about horse racing than Major League Soccer. The only thing worse than horse racing is Nascar, because at least the monotony of horse racing is over in two minutes. I bring up the fact that horse racing sucks because there is a very important horse race this weekend. I'll give you one guess at what it is. Kentucky Derby? WRONG! See? Didn't know that, did ya? Okay, here's a tougher one: if you can tell me with complete certainty what state the race is run in I'll give you a nickel. Don't know? Yeah, me neither. Nor do I care. Nobody does.
Way back in the twenties horse racing was one of the 'big three' popular American sports: horse racing, baseball, and boxing. Winning jockeys were treated like kings and the horses they rode to victory were 'put out to stud,' meaning that if they won a few important races by the time they retired they could have sex with every hot piece of mare they could get their hooves on. But today? Horse racing has obviously become irrelevant. Boxing, though not to the extent of horse racing, has largely fallen out of favor with the American public as well. Both of these sports were largely hampered by mafia controlled gambling in the first half of the century, and more recently boxing has been negatively impacted by incidents involving greedy boxing managers and ear biting. Sadly, baseball is on its way down too. What was once American pastime has been replaced by football and basketball and is now just America's past. Steroids, inflating payrolls, inflating egos, corked bats, poor managment, and many other intangibles came together to make baseball ready to go down the tubes as well. It's sad, really.
Anyway, back to putting small men in colorful spandex on the backs of large land mammals and having people bet on which one will be the fastest to the white line. Nobody watches horse racing like people watch basketball or something. By that I mean that there aren't people who tune in to watch every event the way people watch every first round game of the NCAA tournament. It doesn't happen. And horse racing would garner zero interest is there was not a gambling aspect to it. The only reason they get as many viewers as they do is because you can get 50-1 on Bumbling Bayou, 13-2 on Jester's Monkey, and 3-1 on the favorite Uncle Yanush. There are those who make the bets and those who place the bets, and that is the entirety of the horse racing community. Do you know a horse racing fan? Somebody who has a Secretariat poster over their bed the way people have MJ or Shaq? Doesn't happen. Horse racing is no longer necessary. Get it away from me.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have some Major League Soccer to watch.
Horse racing sucks.
Do you disagree? No, of course not. You know why? Because less people care about horse racing than Major League Soccer. The only thing worse than horse racing is Nascar, because at least the monotony of horse racing is over in two minutes. I bring up the fact that horse racing sucks because there is a very important horse race this weekend. I'll give you one guess at what it is. Kentucky Derby? WRONG! See? Didn't know that, did ya? Okay, here's a tougher one: if you can tell me with complete certainty what state the race is run in I'll give you a nickel. Don't know? Yeah, me neither. Nor do I care. Nobody does.
Way back in the twenties horse racing was one of the 'big three' popular American sports: horse racing, baseball, and boxing. Winning jockeys were treated like kings and the horses they rode to victory were 'put out to stud,' meaning that if they won a few important races by the time they retired they could have sex with every hot piece of mare they could get their hooves on. But today? Horse racing has obviously become irrelevant. Boxing, though not to the extent of horse racing, has largely fallen out of favor with the American public as well. Both of these sports were largely hampered by mafia controlled gambling in the first half of the century, and more recently boxing has been negatively impacted by incidents involving greedy boxing managers and ear biting. Sadly, baseball is on its way down too. What was once American pastime has been replaced by football and basketball and is now just America's past. Steroids, inflating payrolls, inflating egos, corked bats, poor managment, and many other intangibles came together to make baseball ready to go down the tubes as well. It's sad, really.
Anyway, back to putting small men in colorful spandex on the backs of large land mammals and having people bet on which one will be the fastest to the white line. Nobody watches horse racing like people watch basketball or something. By that I mean that there aren't people who tune in to watch every event the way people watch every first round game of the NCAA tournament. It doesn't happen. And horse racing would garner zero interest is there was not a gambling aspect to it. The only reason they get as many viewers as they do is because you can get 50-1 on Bumbling Bayou, 13-2 on Jester's Monkey, and 3-1 on the favorite Uncle Yanush. There are those who make the bets and those who place the bets, and that is the entirety of the horse racing community. Do you know a horse racing fan? Somebody who has a Secretariat poster over their bed the way people have MJ or Shaq? Doesn't happen. Horse racing is no longer necessary. Get it away from me.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have some Major League Soccer to watch.
reubs wrote this piece of shit at 8:38 PM
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