I hear Einstein's desk was messy too...

I am a pack rat in every sense of the word. In addition to that fact, I am also lazy. This leads to an extreme accumulation of what can be best described as crap. One look in my room and you’ll see I don’t like to throw anything out for the two reasons mentioned above. In an earlier post on this blog I made mention of some of the ridiculous items hanging on the walls and sitting around the room at the VFW. I thought I might make a similar list here.

13 posters of varying sizes and shapes (I’d go into the specifics, but it would take far too long.)
1 television atop a DVD/VCR atop 1 microwave atop 1 refrigerator atop 1 cabinet
70+ aluminum cans duct taped to the wall
2 duct tape pockets by the bed to hold my cell phone and remote control
1 jazz bass guitar
2 sets of pan pipes
4 milk crates stacked by the closet holding even more random objects
1 ‘Steamboat Willie’ bobblehead doll that doubles as a hook to hold some of my jewelry
25+ blank CDs
5 decks of cards stacked on the shelf over my desk
32 books, from ‘Fahrenheit 451’ to ‘Oh, the Places You’ll Go’
11 DVDs, from ‘Stripes’ to ‘A Beautiful Mind’
1 box of diabetic supplies under my bed
2 folders (not to mention various shirts, shoes, pop bottles, sketch books, etc) strewn across the floor
100+ miscellaneous objects sitting around, hanging from, or duct taped to my room

You get the idea.

Which leads me to this: of all the things I’ve collected it is typically most surprising to my friends and people who see my bat-cave of a room is that I have a large collection of pop tabs. I don’t have much order or logic to the set up of anything in here, but somehow my pop tab tin has remained virtually untouched by all of this madness.

By the way, this is not just any collection of pop tabs, oh no… this is an unsurpassed personal record. Sure, groups have amassed much more pop tabs than I, but for only one person I have the best (so far as I know). I have literally… wait, lemme count…

(We’ll be right back after these words from our sponsors…)
Do you want to lose weight fast? Call 1-800-LOSE-YO-FAT-ASS now!
201 facts the government doesn’t want you to know about your taxes!
Buddy’s Taxidermy: you shoot it, we stuff it!
I made 350 bazillion dollars in 2 days with this program! Buy it now!
Twin real estate midgets in matching suits; what could be more trustworthy!
Shmulik’s Moyel Specialists: Buy one, get one half off!
(…And we’re back)

786 pop tabs. And counting. Plus a plastic fork and Boylan Crème Soda cap (hey, you can’t keep all the madness out).

As you can see, I am not the most organized person on the planet. I like to live by a simple creed: ‘If it’s not important, leave it where it is. Chances are, if you need it again, it’ll be right where you left it.’ That’s how my mind works. Unorthodox I suppose, but if I need to find something I usually know where to look. My mind is a lot like my room (and this blog post as well, I suppose) ‘cuz it’s all in here. I just need to find it under all the folders and bottles and stuff.

Also, that moyel joke earlier was a good one. Go look up what it means if you don’t already know.