Wal-Mart Owns My Soul (but apparently no box fans)
Wal-Mart is not simply a way of life in college, it is a religion. Every student I know goes to Wal-Mart at least once a month; I know very few that can say that about their houses of worship. Personally, I go every two weeks or so to pick up things I can’t get at the local market like duct tape, quality lunch meats and cheeses, computer paper, etc.
Which brings me to my point: Wal-Mart has been out of box fans for 3 months. I have visited my local Wal-Mart about 6 times since the start of school and they have not had a single box fan. C’mon now, I just need a box fan. How hard could it be to have one single box fan somewhere in this metropolis of shelves? Also, the most recent time I visited they told me that they’ve been put away for the season.
Wait, what?
You’re… you’re serious? You… have more room in this place? There’s closet space here? What the fuck do you need more room for!? There’s more room in this place than in the entirety of a city block. I think that Wal-Mart just has a wiretap that keeps tabs on me, and whenever I come in they know to hide the box fans. No, I’m not crazy, listen to me. There’s no other logical explanation. How could Wal-Mart possibly be out of box fans for so long? It’s a trap! They know that when I come in looking for box fans that I leave with like 4 $2 DVDs and 6 lbs. of candy and that I’ll be back in 10 days or so. They leave you wanting, without explanation or reason for the lack of answers you get. So, like swallows to Capistrano, I too return to once again feel the anguish of forsakenness and sorrow.
Much like Catholicism.
Which brings me to my point: Wal-Mart has been out of box fans for 3 months. I have visited my local Wal-Mart about 6 times since the start of school and they have not had a single box fan. C’mon now, I just need a box fan. How hard could it be to have one single box fan somewhere in this metropolis of shelves? Also, the most recent time I visited they told me that they’ve been put away for the season.
Wait, what?
You’re… you’re serious? You… have more room in this place? There’s closet space here? What the fuck do you need more room for!? There’s more room in this place than in the entirety of a city block. I think that Wal-Mart just has a wiretap that keeps tabs on me, and whenever I come in they know to hide the box fans. No, I’m not crazy, listen to me. There’s no other logical explanation. How could Wal-Mart possibly be out of box fans for so long? It’s a trap! They know that when I come in looking for box fans that I leave with like 4 $2 DVDs and 6 lbs. of candy and that I’ll be back in 10 days or so. They leave you wanting, without explanation or reason for the lack of answers you get. So, like swallows to Capistrano, I too return to once again feel the anguish of forsakenness and sorrow.
Much like Catholicism.
reubs wrote this piece of shit at 12:43 AM
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