Top Blog Dominance!
I'll admit it, I want this to be the top rated blog. The site I originally started with friends as a place to write opinions on comedy and record ideas and jokes that could later be used in stand-up. It might be the kid in me that wishes his voice heard. Or maybe the megalomaniac in me that wishes his voice heard by force in a Big Brother style future in which I rule. Whatever the reason I now hope this site to have our humor and opinons sent out to as many web surfing strangers as possible.
So to get this site out I signed it up on Top Blogs listed under Humor. It's a place that rates your blog based off of hits. If you look to the side at the Humor Me! link it sends you there. We got some stiff competition on the humor page but normally find our way in the top ten. But there is a little more disparity in the overall standings.
When I check the overall standings to view how are humble page stacks up to the thousands of other blogs in all categories we aren't normally in the top ten. Or hundred for that matter. In fact we are beat out by pages updated far less frequently that have no original content. I'm going to give reviews to 3 of these blogs that continually best us and decide what it is that makes them so effective.
1. Diary Of a Porn Publisher
Far and away the reigning champ of Top Blogs. If I check it at any given time this site has over one hundred thousand hits. To put that in perspective we are normally hovering somewhere around 8. The page is updated frequently but has a little more of an eclectic mix than I originally expected. Yes, the author gives you a look into his life, which I can best describe as mundane. I don't know many porn publishers to compare with but I'd have to say he's probably the least exciting of them all. Normally discussing upcomming family plans or annoyances he faces when commuting its not the Hugh Hefner, glitz and glamor I was expecting, it pretty much reads like a middle class housewife's abandoned Xanga. Those boring diary posts are than followed by news. Actual articles, covering worlds affairs such as terrorist threats and domestic policy. Now if I want that I normally first consider The Guardian or CNN, but I guess a porn publisher run blog is a reasonable and trustworthy choice to be informing the public. After about 4 or 5 of these articles you come across Today's new adult galleries.
Today's read: Home Invasion 1- Housewife gets anal gang bang in her home by a black gangbang team. Oh and it also had this picture shown:
Boy, for a home invasion this 'housewife' sure appears eager. That's the problem with porn these days, just to unrealistic.
However if I am going to be anally gangbanged at least its by a gangbang team. Obviously these men are professionals and would have my best interests in mind during the home invasion. Other categories listed had these titles with descriptions included:
Bound and Pierced - black girl with pierced clit in chains
Anal Bead Bondage - female slave stimulated with vibrator
Blonde Head - pretty blonde with great tits give guy some head
Bar Stool Bondage - girl bound and gagged with nipples esposed
Blowjob Bazaar - collection of mostly interracial blow jobs
Ok...so apparently this particular publisher deals with bondage. And also loves using alliteration. Those gallery titles read like the lost fetish works of Dr. Seuss.
My Review: I can see why this site dominates. Stirring world opinions, introspective family life from a working man and brutal hardcore pornography. That's a winning mix. We don't stand a chance against such an opponent.
2. The Prudent Investor-Seeing too many bubbles
How in the fuck does this site stay in the top 50? Besides reading like my macroeconomics textbook it brings nothing to the table. As MillerTime already explained if you are looking for investing advice you get your ass to Mad Money with Jim Cramer. The author of this coma inducing drivel wouldn't last a second against that show. Although that's only because his head would be bitten off like the so many foam bulls that have been laid waste to by Cramer.
It's got the standard stock chart on the sidebar along with some pictures like these:
Wow producer price index graph! Holy shit, I just got an erection from that projected percentage growth!
This was the most colorful and exciting picture I found on the site, detailing retired investors. Makes me long for a home invasion anal gang bang.
The posts get plenty of comments and apparently the site is viewed as an actual market tool. I however, just think the site is run by an average tool. If he's such a successful investor why the hell does he have adds on the page that get him 50 cents for every 10,000 hits of online traffic? Though I bet he could draw up in a nifty chart how his site makes Horrible People his bitch in daily hits.
My Review: I'd rather gargle broken glass than read this blog. I can only assume it hooks desperate investors who think some fringe web page has the answers. Horrible People will have it's steel toed boot pressing down on the jugular of Prudent Investor any day now. And yes this site wears steel toed boots.
3. Shemale Blog- A transexuals sick sex life
Normally in the top 20 Overall, the biggest problem with this site is that it hasn't been updated since November 10th. How am I supposed to know what my favoirte tranny's are up to!? Run by 22 year old transexual Alexis she...or he...fuck I knew this would be a problem. "It" recounts activities of the week. Alexis normally starts innocent enough, apologizing for the lack of updates and mentioning whats been keeping her busy. Than the story degrades into the most depraved sex acts I've ever read or masterbated too. Just kidding, sort of...
Anyway I scrubbed my eyeballs with Ajax after visiting. I don't even want to think of the viruses I picked up from the site, which has a sidebar that links you to such places as Tranny Buttocks, Chicks have great Dicks, Sperm Suckers and Pissing Orgasmic Sex. What the Fuck.
My Review: This site features casual narrative style posts, videos and links. To bad all three of those features deal exclusively with shameless degenerate perverts performing ghastly acts on one another. Otherwise thumbs up from me and yes, I speak for everyone here at this site. Especially Hurricane who told me his need of trannys is only rivaled by his need for oxygen.
So there you have it. Just 3 of the blogs that handle there business and keep us on the bottom of the internet dogpile. What have I learned from this experience? That the web is filled with morally bankrupt individuals who I should detest instead of wishing to view my comedy. I've lost all faith in humanity and have never been more certain of the eventual Apocalypse that will wash this world clean of filth in a tidal wave of blood, churned from the dark hearts of the sinners that occupy it. And all because that investement site is so goddamned boring.
I can't even begin to imagine all the weirdos I've got reading the site now, since it will appear when searching for any of the awful content I've reviewed. Also don't forget to keep checking back and getting this blog to the top. That's more a threat than request. Still kidding, sort of...
So to get this site out I signed it up on Top Blogs listed under Humor. It's a place that rates your blog based off of hits. If you look to the side at the Humor Me! link it sends you there. We got some stiff competition on the humor page but normally find our way in the top ten. But there is a little more disparity in the overall standings.
When I check the overall standings to view how are humble page stacks up to the thousands of other blogs in all categories we aren't normally in the top ten. Or hundred for that matter. In fact we are beat out by pages updated far less frequently that have no original content. I'm going to give reviews to 3 of these blogs that continually best us and decide what it is that makes them so effective.
1. Diary Of a Porn Publisher
Far and away the reigning champ of Top Blogs. If I check it at any given time this site has over one hundred thousand hits. To put that in perspective we are normally hovering somewhere around 8. The page is updated frequently but has a little more of an eclectic mix than I originally expected. Yes, the author gives you a look into his life, which I can best describe as mundane. I don't know many porn publishers to compare with but I'd have to say he's probably the least exciting of them all. Normally discussing upcomming family plans or annoyances he faces when commuting its not the Hugh Hefner, glitz and glamor I was expecting, it pretty much reads like a middle class housewife's abandoned Xanga. Those boring diary posts are than followed by news. Actual articles, covering worlds affairs such as terrorist threats and domestic policy. Now if I want that I normally first consider The Guardian or CNN, but I guess a porn publisher run blog is a reasonable and trustworthy choice to be informing the public. After about 4 or 5 of these articles you come across Today's new adult galleries.
Today's read: Home Invasion 1- Housewife gets anal gang bang in her home by a black gangbang team. Oh and it also had this picture shown:
Boy, for a home invasion this 'housewife' sure appears eager. That's the problem with porn these days, just to unrealistic.
However if I am going to be anally gangbanged at least its by a gangbang team. Obviously these men are professionals and would have my best interests in mind during the home invasion. Other categories listed had these titles with descriptions included:
Bound and Pierced - black girl with pierced clit in chains
Anal Bead Bondage - female slave stimulated with vibrator
Blonde Head - pretty blonde with great tits give guy some head
Bar Stool Bondage - girl bound and gagged with nipples esposed
Blowjob Bazaar - collection of mostly interracial blow jobs
Ok...so apparently this particular publisher deals with bondage. And also loves using alliteration. Those gallery titles read like the lost fetish works of Dr. Seuss.
My Review: I can see why this site dominates. Stirring world opinions, introspective family life from a working man and brutal hardcore pornography. That's a winning mix. We don't stand a chance against such an opponent.
2. The Prudent Investor-Seeing too many bubbles
How in the fuck does this site stay in the top 50? Besides reading like my macroeconomics textbook it brings nothing to the table. As MillerTime already explained if you are looking for investing advice you get your ass to Mad Money with Jim Cramer. The author of this coma inducing drivel wouldn't last a second against that show. Although that's only because his head would be bitten off like the so many foam bulls that have been laid waste to by Cramer.
It's got the standard stock chart on the sidebar along with some pictures like these:
Wow producer price index graph! Holy shit, I just got an erection from that projected percentage growth!
This was the most colorful and exciting picture I found on the site, detailing retired investors. Makes me long for a home invasion anal gang bang.
The posts get plenty of comments and apparently the site is viewed as an actual market tool. I however, just think the site is run by an average tool. If he's such a successful investor why the hell does he have adds on the page that get him 50 cents for every 10,000 hits of online traffic? Though I bet he could draw up in a nifty chart how his site makes Horrible People his bitch in daily hits.
My Review: I'd rather gargle broken glass than read this blog. I can only assume it hooks desperate investors who think some fringe web page has the answers. Horrible People will have it's steel toed boot pressing down on the jugular of Prudent Investor any day now. And yes this site wears steel toed boots.
3. Shemale Blog- A transexuals sick sex life
Normally in the top 20 Overall, the biggest problem with this site is that it hasn't been updated since November 10th. How am I supposed to know what my favoirte tranny's are up to!? Run by 22 year old transexual Alexis she...or he...fuck I knew this would be a problem. "It" recounts activities of the week. Alexis normally starts innocent enough, apologizing for the lack of updates and mentioning whats been keeping her busy. Than the story degrades into the most depraved sex acts I've ever read or masterbated too. Just kidding, sort of...
Anyway I scrubbed my eyeballs with Ajax after visiting. I don't even want to think of the viruses I picked up from the site, which has a sidebar that links you to such places as Tranny Buttocks, Chicks have great Dicks, Sperm Suckers and Pissing Orgasmic Sex. What the Fuck.
My Review: This site features casual narrative style posts, videos and links. To bad all three of those features deal exclusively with shameless degenerate perverts performing ghastly acts on one another. Otherwise thumbs up from me and yes, I speak for everyone here at this site. Especially Hurricane who told me his need of trannys is only rivaled by his need for oxygen.
So there you have it. Just 3 of the blogs that handle there business and keep us on the bottom of the internet dogpile. What have I learned from this experience? That the web is filled with morally bankrupt individuals who I should detest instead of wishing to view my comedy. I've lost all faith in humanity and have never been more certain of the eventual Apocalypse that will wash this world clean of filth in a tidal wave of blood, churned from the dark hearts of the sinners that occupy it. And all because that investement site is so goddamned boring.
I can't even begin to imagine all the weirdos I've got reading the site now, since it will appear when searching for any of the awful content I've reviewed. Also don't forget to keep checking back and getting this blog to the top. That's more a threat than request. Still kidding, sort of...
Jay Runner wrote this piece of shit at 11:09 AM
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