Master Debater
I used one pun for the title and I already feel dirty. No matter how awful it is this pun is appropriate since this is in response to the painful, pun filled post written by Hurricane. In case there is some doubt let me sum it all up...
Puns are the lowest form of comedy.
No question about it. Fart jokes and slapstick are viewed as Shakespearean poetry when compared to puns. If bad comedy were AIDS than puns would be its lesions. There is a reason why adults groan when they hear puns and it's because anyone over the age of 4 is tired of them. Some words sound like other words, that's all there is to it. We are all forced to suffer because some people are unable to be bored with homonyms. Although a simple concept, puns can take on many insidious forms, all of which are cringe worthy.
Here is an example "Being in politics is just like playing golf, you are trapped in one bad lie after another." Here the pun is on the two different meanings of the word lie. Now these types of puns are very common and although not horribly offensive comedically, they are still unfunny.
Some are based off of spelling instead of sound. "What kind of instrument do fish love to play? A bass guitar!" Besides not making much sense because the word bass is pronounced differently when reffering to a fish or instrument, it is just an awful joke. But if I heard a third grader telling this joke I'd probably be able to resist crushing his skull with a cinder block. Older than that and restraint is not easily found.
Double-sound is a term used to describe puns where words that are similar but not identical are intentionally confused. This is where it starts getting real ugly. "What do you call an inverse chicken? Poultry!" The joke here is "poultry" sounds like "poetry" which fits since "inverse" is a play on the two words "in verse" which is where you find poetry. Not only stupid but it requires an explanation that you never asked for. Most people would rather have their hand slammed in a car door than sit through an explanation of a terrible pun.
Even worse still are puns off of common expressions or the extended pun, where several puns are crammed into a short story. I'm not placing those in my post since I feel I'll become less funny by association. Puns are not used by the most respected comedians. In fact I tried searching for any comedians that deal almost exclusively in puns and I don't think there has been an entertainer who has done so since the great depression. And they only got away with it since their audience were financially crippled and had already sold their kids into slavery so they could eat and were looking for anything to laugh at. Such a sad situation is the only excuse for a person to laugh at a pun. The closest thing I found to a comedian who deals in puns is the hilarious juggernaut Rosie O'Donnell.
Kids are Punny, the book composed by Rosie during her time with that ghastly talk show. This is the best example I found of a performer relying on puns. As we all know Rosie hasn't made anything funny in the last 20 years, not counting Riding the Bus with My Sister which was hysterical but apparently was mislabeled as a Drama. Rosie wasn't playing the part of Bus as you'd guess, but Beth Simon a mentally handicapped woman that just can't cope to a mentally capable world. Laugh riot, I suggest you get it on DVD.
Even as terrible a comedian as Rosie is, if she can even be called that, she still made this book for kids with submissions by kids. This book of puns was never even meant for adult eyes. Maybe Susie Homemaker would thumb through it or read it to her children after soccer practice but even she would have to wash down a bottle of her child's ritalin with vodka to remove the memory of what she's done.
Puns are just that bad, plain and simple. I hope I could sway enough to the side of good. I believe Hurricane has some dark and evil motives behind his pun love, I've just yet to uncover them. Also do you know why he made eleven puns in his last post? The eleventh pun always gets a laugh, even if no pun in ten did.
I have to go shower and scrub myself like a rape victim now.
Puns are the lowest form of comedy.
No question about it. Fart jokes and slapstick are viewed as Shakespearean poetry when compared to puns. If bad comedy were AIDS than puns would be its lesions. There is a reason why adults groan when they hear puns and it's because anyone over the age of 4 is tired of them. Some words sound like other words, that's all there is to it. We are all forced to suffer because some people are unable to be bored with homonyms. Although a simple concept, puns can take on many insidious forms, all of which are cringe worthy.
Here is an example "Being in politics is just like playing golf, you are trapped in one bad lie after another." Here the pun is on the two different meanings of the word lie. Now these types of puns are very common and although not horribly offensive comedically, they are still unfunny.
Some are based off of spelling instead of sound. "What kind of instrument do fish love to play? A bass guitar!" Besides not making much sense because the word bass is pronounced differently when reffering to a fish or instrument, it is just an awful joke. But if I heard a third grader telling this joke I'd probably be able to resist crushing his skull with a cinder block. Older than that and restraint is not easily found.
Double-sound is a term used to describe puns where words that are similar but not identical are intentionally confused. This is where it starts getting real ugly. "What do you call an inverse chicken? Poultry!" The joke here is "poultry" sounds like "poetry" which fits since "inverse" is a play on the two words "in verse" which is where you find poetry. Not only stupid but it requires an explanation that you never asked for. Most people would rather have their hand slammed in a car door than sit through an explanation of a terrible pun.
Even worse still are puns off of common expressions or the extended pun, where several puns are crammed into a short story. I'm not placing those in my post since I feel I'll become less funny by association. Puns are not used by the most respected comedians. In fact I tried searching for any comedians that deal almost exclusively in puns and I don't think there has been an entertainer who has done so since the great depression. And they only got away with it since their audience were financially crippled and had already sold their kids into slavery so they could eat and were looking for anything to laugh at. Such a sad situation is the only excuse for a person to laugh at a pun. The closest thing I found to a comedian who deals in puns is the hilarious juggernaut Rosie O'Donnell.
Kids are Punny, the book composed by Rosie during her time with that ghastly talk show. This is the best example I found of a performer relying on puns. As we all know Rosie hasn't made anything funny in the last 20 years, not counting Riding the Bus with My Sister which was hysterical but apparently was mislabeled as a Drama. Rosie wasn't playing the part of Bus as you'd guess, but Beth Simon a mentally handicapped woman that just can't cope to a mentally capable world. Laugh riot, I suggest you get it on DVD.
Even as terrible a comedian as Rosie is, if she can even be called that, she still made this book for kids with submissions by kids. This book of puns was never even meant for adult eyes. Maybe Susie Homemaker would thumb through it or read it to her children after soccer practice but even she would have to wash down a bottle of her child's ritalin with vodka to remove the memory of what she's done.
Puns are just that bad, plain and simple. I hope I could sway enough to the side of good. I believe Hurricane has some dark and evil motives behind his pun love, I've just yet to uncover them. Also do you know why he made eleven puns in his last post? The eleventh pun always gets a laugh, even if no pun in ten did.
I have to go shower and scrub myself like a rape victim now.
Jay Runner wrote this piece of shit at 2:37 PM
1 Horrible Comments:
ha ha, no pun in ten did. i love it. awesome.
oh, that was intended as irony... hm... my bad.
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