How to Fire a Gun at a Man's Head and Not Get Arrested
It's all fun and games until someone gets hit with fifty pellets of quailshot.
As I'm sure you've already heard, the Vice President of our great nation, Dick Cheaney, went hunting last weekend. 'Farm raised quail' hunting. By farm raised quail hunting I really mean he drove to this farm where they keep quail in what I'm sure ia no more that a 5x5 cage and you shoot at them with birdshot, which is basically like grapeshot for old school middle age catapults (thank you for improving my vocabulary, Magic the Gathering).
But something went right. Terribly right. The VP broke a gun law, added a supporting argument to the position of gun control lobbies, and almost killed a lawyer. That is awesome. What a debacle.
Mr. Cheaney shot a 78 year old lawyer in the face. 'By accident.' But as we all know, the White House hates lawyers that aren't defending them. Or the gun lobby. Or the oil lobby. Or the... you get the idea.
Seriously though, he shot a man. In the face. Is he not even going to get arrested? I mean, he hides from the world for extended periods of time, he could just disappear one day and never return. And he attacked this man with birdshot! As local Athens comedian Eightball pointed out, "He shot him above the waist, and as a black man I know... that's attempted murder." True that, my brother. True that.
He did not have a valid Texas hunting license, so he'll have to pay the 50 dollar fine. I don't know how he's going to get that kind of money together. The 78 year old man had a heart attack in the hospital after Cheaney quote "peppered him good." Yea he peppered you. With live ammunition. Come on now.
I don't know the logistics of what the man looked like, but I'm guessing that the before and after photo looked something like this:
Hey, people make mistakes. I know I did when I was throwing darts and hit one of the members of the chess team in the temple. I was my class vice president though so they didn't give me any detention.
Also, my president that year was a douche bag.
As I'm sure you've already heard, the Vice President of our great nation, Dick Cheaney, went hunting last weekend. 'Farm raised quail' hunting. By farm raised quail hunting I really mean he drove to this farm where they keep quail in what I'm sure ia no more that a 5x5 cage and you shoot at them with birdshot, which is basically like grapeshot for old school middle age catapults (thank you for improving my vocabulary, Magic the Gathering).
But something went right. Terribly right. The VP broke a gun law, added a supporting argument to the position of gun control lobbies, and almost killed a lawyer. That is awesome. What a debacle.
Mr. Cheaney shot a 78 year old lawyer in the face. 'By accident.' But as we all know, the White House hates lawyers that aren't defending them. Or the gun lobby. Or the oil lobby. Or the... you get the idea.
Seriously though, he shot a man. In the face. Is he not even going to get arrested? I mean, he hides from the world for extended periods of time, he could just disappear one day and never return. And he attacked this man with birdshot! As local Athens comedian Eightball pointed out, "He shot him above the waist, and as a black man I know... that's attempted murder." True that, my brother. True that.
He did not have a valid Texas hunting license, so he'll have to pay the 50 dollar fine. I don't know how he's going to get that kind of money together. The 78 year old man had a heart attack in the hospital after Cheaney quote "peppered him good." Yea he peppered you. With live ammunition. Come on now.
I don't know the logistics of what the man looked like, but I'm guessing that the before and after photo looked something like this:
Hey, people make mistakes. I know I did when I was throwing darts and hit one of the members of the chess team in the temple. I was my class vice president though so they didn't give me any detention.
Also, my president that year was a douche bag.
reubs wrote this piece of shit at 1:36 AM
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