You Only Live Twice
I’m having one of those days. I lost 200 bucks playing poker tonight. I just found out I missed a quiz in History 132 this week that will account for about 10 percent of my total grade. My B button is sticky all of the sudden. Just one of those days.
But nothing like what Raju Raghuvanshi must be feeling like right now. The full story is in this link, but the long and the short of it is that he was in prison for a year where he contracted a stomach virus. He recovered, but someone heard that he was dead and told the folks in his home town of Mandla in India that he passed away. But he came back. Good news, right? Well, not so much. His brothers, who shaved their heads in mourning, fled at the sight of him. Children screamed "Ghost! Ghost!" and ran. Villagers locked their doors. In other words, pretty much what happens whenever Miller Time walks in the room.
Here's a picture of myself (right) and... Oh my god! The ghost of Miller!
But that’s the end of it, right? Again, not so much. Raghuvanshi filed a complaint about the treatment he was receiving, to which the city council told Raju he must prove he isn’t a ghost. I’ll let you read that again. The city council told Raju he must prove he isn’t a ghost! Jesus Christ, these people have nuclear capability! You know what that means? It means they might use ‘The Bomb’ against Santa Claus is he crosses into the no-fly. Frightening.
Can’t he just say, "Here, poke me with this stick," and it’ll be over with? Or make him eat a sandwich; I bet ghosts can’t digest. It would just fall out of him, right? Anyway, why would it be bad to have a ghost hang around? It’s not like he can do anything; he’s just pixie dust and starlight.
I hope he can convince his home town that he’s no longer dead. But not quite as much as I hope I get my money back.
Goddamn flush draws.
But nothing like what Raju Raghuvanshi must be feeling like right now. The full story is in this link, but the long and the short of it is that he was in prison for a year where he contracted a stomach virus. He recovered, but someone heard that he was dead and told the folks in his home town of Mandla in India that he passed away. But he came back. Good news, right? Well, not so much. His brothers, who shaved their heads in mourning, fled at the sight of him. Children screamed "Ghost! Ghost!" and ran. Villagers locked their doors. In other words, pretty much what happens whenever Miller Time walks in the room.
Here's a picture of myself (right) and... Oh my god! The ghost of Miller!
But that’s the end of it, right? Again, not so much. Raghuvanshi filed a complaint about the treatment he was receiving, to which the city council told Raju he must prove he isn’t a ghost. I’ll let you read that again. The city council told Raju he must prove he isn’t a ghost! Jesus Christ, these people have nuclear capability! You know what that means? It means they might use ‘The Bomb’ against Santa Claus is he crosses into the no-fly. Frightening.
Can’t he just say, "Here, poke me with this stick," and it’ll be over with? Or make him eat a sandwich; I bet ghosts can’t digest. It would just fall out of him, right? Anyway, why would it be bad to have a ghost hang around? It’s not like he can do anything; he’s just pixie dust and starlight.
I hope he can convince his home town that he’s no longer dead. But not quite as much as I hope I get my money back.
Goddamn flush draws.
reubs wrote this piece of shit at 1:45 AM
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