Get Your Comedy On: Writing

Your Horrible People are back in school starting spring quater at OU. That's less a fact and more an excuse for why nothing ever gets written here. The good news is we'll try getting more updates in between some exciting projects we are attempting. And we'll get to post about the failures of those attempted projects. It's a win-win situation really.

Something that has been consistent for us currently is getting on stage and working on our stand up. All three of us we'll be going in another half hour block this friday starting at 10:30. Now, for all you out of state readers, you have enough time to set travel plans and head to the Ohio University Baker center where you can watch a free open mic show presented by your favorite blog writers.

However, this post isn't about our show, and by saying that I'm trying to make up for the shameless plug. This is about stand up comedy. It's catching on again and up-and-comers everywhere are getting their brick walls ready. I predict a stand up boom much like in the 80's except with tolerable fashion and far less coke. Because meth is where it's at now.

So for those unsure on how to start their own routine to present for drunks and the uninterested I am here to dispense some advice in order to help you avoid public humiliation. Stand up is interesting since it is one of the only fields where you will attempt to entertain a harsh and merciless wall of humanity that sits in judgement of your every action. If deemed unfunny the mass will tear you apart through piercing stares and frigid silence. But if you enjoy it you will keep going back. Because stand up comedy loves you, it's just got a funny way of showing it. You know it didn't mean to hit you, it only gets that way when it drinks. So hide that black eye with sunglasses and cover that fat lip with another coat of lipstick because you and stand up comedy are going to Sizzler for a makeup date. And you better let it get to second base.

This is a large topic that I will break down into segments and present over time. Today we will focus on writing material. A comedian is only as funny as the material he is working with, which is why even top paid comedians suck since their acts revolve around the word "beaner" or a half assed catch phrase like "Git-R-Done" which is used to bail out of a shit punchline. You need to stay focused and bring something original to the table. Everyone now knows what the deal with airplane food is. Tired observations on the same topics are never enjoyable. When thinking about something that can be funny make sure it isn't an idea some jock asshole could have said. It's not worth to present on stage if Joe Nobody could make the same comment off the top of his head.

To illustrate the point we will make some jokes and break them down together. I want to make sure everyone keeps up so I will use the easily understood structure of lightbulb jokes. Here we'll analyze what makes them good and bad. Also we'll use these since it's better than putting material of mine up that can be harshly judged.

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three. One to climb the ladder, one to shake the ladder and one to sue the ladder company.

Pros: A classic joke with the target of lawyers. Makes sweeping generalization about lawyers having immoral nature.
Cons: This can be found on a popsicle stick.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they'd rather sit in the dark and cry.

Pros: Emo sucks and this helps reinforce that fact. Insults their favorite activity, showing why they're pussies.
Cons: The only target that could be easier than Emo kids is retards.

How many retards does it take to screw in a ligthbuld?
One.

Pros: Simplicity of answer reveals listener to the fact that they regard retards as subhuman and incapable of a task as easy as screwing in a ligthbulb.
Cons: No one is prepared to face such dark truths about themselves.

How many Christians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, Jesus said "I am the light of the world" therefore by using a seperate source of illumination they are not maintaining faith and disgracing the son of God.

Pros: Christians are goofy.
Cons: Way to literal.

How many Vietnam Veterans does it take to screw in a ligth bulb?
You wouldn't know man, you weren't there!

Pros: Plays with structure of lightbulb joke.
Cons: Stereotypes veterans as being emotinally disturbed which could get you killed if the listener has a flashback and thinks you're charlie.

How many porn stars does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they screw in front of a camera.

Pros: Gets me thinking about porn stars.
Cons: Pun.

How many Schrodinger's cats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One and none, simultaneously!

Pros: A ridiculous reference.
Cons: requires a Google search to understand.

How many Ohio University students does it take to chang a lightbulb?
Three, one to chang it and two others to try and turn the broken bulb into a bong.

Pros: College kids like pot humor. OU is filled with hippies.
Cons: It's depressing because it's true.

There are many other examples of this classic joke to get you started. Let me also mention that you should never make a lightbulb joke on stage or in public, ever. This was merely an exercise to see what's funny and not funny with certain jokes. When developing your own material it's best to read it out loud, and for the love of god decide if it's funny or not in the privacy of your own home. Don't just have a wacky set up or a half assed punchline. A little preperation can go a long way in making a successful act.

Oh and how many kids with ADD does it take to finish a lightbulb joke?