A Penny For My Thoughts
Listen, I’ve held this in long enough. It's time for me to vent a little bit.
Fuck you, pennies.
I hate pennies with a white hot passion that will not be quenched. Is there anything more useless and depressing than getting a penny back after buying chicken nuggets from Wendy’s? The answer is no. I don’t care how many of your pets have been hit by cars or how many epigastric parasites you have, the answer is no. Not a thing more useless or depressing. I always have the reaction of, "Why the fuck are you giving me this?" They hand it to me as if I should thank them for giving me my change. Change!? It's a fucking penny! What are you going to do with a penny? Seriously, what do you plan on doing with it?
That's what I thought.
Get rid of the fucking pennies. Congress, the people who run our country, continue to spend millions of dollars to make billions of pennies every year, and as you know we don't have that kind of money to spend. I like the dollar coins. Make more of those. A lot of people don't, but really, I need to use dollar coins more than I need to use fucking pennies.
I thought of something else that fucking sucks about pennies. This situation has happened more than once: I accidentally drop a coin in between the seat and the door in the drive thru, and it's more often than not a penny. Then I have to do that pincher beetle thing with my middle finger and the nail of my index finger for about ten minutes. So then I can't get it so I have to use a nickel, and now I get four more mother fucking pennies! Ugh, that sucks.
Let me take a breather here for a second. Phew.
I didn't want to write two different posts over the course of about 15 minutes, so part two of this post goes like this: apparently, a study was recently completed by who knows (and frankly, who cares) and the conclusion of the study was that American citizens know more about 'The Simpsons' than the The Bill Of Rights. The question was as follows (no cheating and looking any of 'em up, now):
Name the 5 members of the Simpsons nuclear family.
Name all 5 of the rights guaranteed in the 1st Amendment.
How many of each did you get?
Listen to this statistic found in the survey: 1 in 5 people could name all 5 Simpsons right, but one 1 in 1000 could get all 5 rights, uh... right. That's ridiculous.
That might be more depressing than getting pennies as change.
Just so you know, all ten are (Simpsons first, then Rights): Homer, Marge, Maggie, Bart, and Lisa, and then Speech, Religion, the Press, Assembly, and Petition.
People use acrostics to remember things all the time. Let's make one up so we can remember the five rights:
Simpsons
Remember:
Pennies
Are
Pointless
Fuck you, pennies.
I hate pennies with a white hot passion that will not be quenched. Is there anything more useless and depressing than getting a penny back after buying chicken nuggets from Wendy’s? The answer is no. I don’t care how many of your pets have been hit by cars or how many epigastric parasites you have, the answer is no. Not a thing more useless or depressing. I always have the reaction of, "Why the fuck are you giving me this?" They hand it to me as if I should thank them for giving me my change. Change!? It's a fucking penny! What are you going to do with a penny? Seriously, what do you plan on doing with it?
That's what I thought.
Get rid of the fucking pennies. Congress, the people who run our country, continue to spend millions of dollars to make billions of pennies every year, and as you know we don't have that kind of money to spend. I like the dollar coins. Make more of those. A lot of people don't, but really, I need to use dollar coins more than I need to use fucking pennies.
I thought of something else that fucking sucks about pennies. This situation has happened more than once: I accidentally drop a coin in between the seat and the door in the drive thru, and it's more often than not a penny. Then I have to do that pincher beetle thing with my middle finger and the nail of my index finger for about ten minutes. So then I can't get it so I have to use a nickel, and now I get four more mother fucking pennies! Ugh, that sucks.
Let me take a breather here for a second. Phew.
I didn't want to write two different posts over the course of about 15 minutes, so part two of this post goes like this: apparently, a study was recently completed by who knows (and frankly, who cares) and the conclusion of the study was that American citizens know more about 'The Simpsons' than the The Bill Of Rights. The question was as follows (no cheating and looking any of 'em up, now):
Name the 5 members of the Simpsons nuclear family.
Name all 5 of the rights guaranteed in the 1st Amendment.
How many of each did you get?
Listen to this statistic found in the survey: 1 in 5 people could name all 5 Simpsons right, but one 1 in 1000 could get all 5 rights, uh... right. That's ridiculous.
That might be more depressing than getting pennies as change.
Just so you know, all ten are (Simpsons first, then Rights): Homer, Marge, Maggie, Bart, and Lisa, and then Speech, Religion, the Press, Assembly, and Petition.
People use acrostics to remember things all the time. Let's make one up so we can remember the five rights:
Simpsons
Remember:
Pennies
Are
Pointless
reubs wrote this piece of shit at 12:35 PM
1 Horrible Comments:
Well Egordineer, you make a compelling and well thought out point.
YoureADouche.org
it's a non-profit. they do it for the love of calling you a douche.
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