Juice!

Come on, Barry. Who are you fooling? Just come out and say it. We all know you do it. It's okay, we want you to. We won't admit it, but the truth is that you and your fellow 'users' have saved baseball. Remember the early nineties, when baseball nearly died from a strike shortened season? You remember? Of course you do, you were there. All the fans left. What brought 'em back? The long ball, that's what. You and your buddies Mark and Sammy and Jose and all the rest, you brought America's past time back from the brink. Not Jose so much, but you other three.

We just want you to come out and say how you did it. You think we didn't notice your conspicuously gigantic head? Or the Incredible Hulk-like proportions you took on in a few months? Or the raisenettes you call testicles? We all know how, just come out and tell us. Get on '60 Minutes' and do it. Mike Wallace will ask you if you have something to say to America, and you'll come on screen with a bag of syringes. Maybe Mickey Rooney can help you shoot up on national TV. Not do it himself, but hold the rubber hose you use to fill the vein.

Just say it, Barry. Just say you did it.

Say you used Gatorade when you were on Powerade's payroll.