If I Were...A Rodeo Bull
If I were a rodeo bull I'd dominate the pro riding circuit. I'd cause so much harm and devastation they'd call me the Widow-maker or Mind-of-Mencia. God that show sucks. I'd leave slack jawed yokles even more slack jawed and yokley as they gaze in awe at my raw power. And I would train.
I wouldn't sit back being content maiming the fool hardy cowboy who thinks he could tame me. Id figure out which arching of my back made it possible for me to get my horns lodged in ribs and how to successfully perform a barrel roll. 8 seconds will seem impossible once I'm able to steam roll that Stetson wearing asshole into the dirt of Relient Stadium during Rodeo Week. Cowboys would fear me so much they wouldn't leave the safety of their mobile homes while the masses would cheer me on like a gladiator, calling for more victims to face me in this modern day colosseum.
I'd even invent a mechanical bull rider. That's right, a robotic cowboy that adjusts to every twist and buck that would push me to new levels of excellence. This task would seem hard since I only have bulky hooves and the intelligence of a retarded labrador. In fact I don't even know where I'd get parts. All I do is spill drool in my dirt pen. And my background in engineering probably wouldn't even encompass the basic components to start such a massive endeavor.
On second thought I think I am just going to gore a clown to death. The masses will still cheer.
I wouldn't sit back being content maiming the fool hardy cowboy who thinks he could tame me. Id figure out which arching of my back made it possible for me to get my horns lodged in ribs and how to successfully perform a barrel roll. 8 seconds will seem impossible once I'm able to steam roll that Stetson wearing asshole into the dirt of Relient Stadium during Rodeo Week. Cowboys would fear me so much they wouldn't leave the safety of their mobile homes while the masses would cheer me on like a gladiator, calling for more victims to face me in this modern day colosseum.
I'd even invent a mechanical bull rider. That's right, a robotic cowboy that adjusts to every twist and buck that would push me to new levels of excellence. This task would seem hard since I only have bulky hooves and the intelligence of a retarded labrador. In fact I don't even know where I'd get parts. All I do is spill drool in my dirt pen. And my background in engineering probably wouldn't even encompass the basic components to start such a massive endeavor.
On second thought I think I am just going to gore a clown to death. The masses will still cheer.
Jay Runner wrote this piece of shit at 11:35 PM
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