Freakin' Hoser
Let me ask you something: Assume that Amare Stoudamire, the Suns' leading scorer and rebounder two seasons ago, returns from injury and some how Shawn Marion, the Suns' leading scorer and rebounder this season, goes on the DL. Assume that, just as they did this year, the majority of sports' reporters and experts say that as a result of this huge blow to the team, the Suns will not even make the playoffs. Now assume that, just as happened this year, Steve Nash puts the city of Phoenix's basketball hopes on his shoulders, the team makes it to the conference finals, seven Suns' players have career years, Nash leads the league in assists (again) and has 20 points per game, and now they're voting for the league's MVP. Who you gonna call?
Kobe? A joke to even ask. Kobe is Peyton Manning. Come back to me when you have a ring or two (on your own, please; Nash didn't have the most dominant player of the past 10 years in the paint when he got those MVPs). Speaking of that 7-foot behemoth, how about Shaq's MVP hopes? Doubtful. His back and knees (not to mention lungs) aren't what they used to be. Also, shooting a free-throw percentage comparable to most batting averages doesn't help. Lebron? Possibly. I imagine he will one day be the MVP ten straight times, but next year? That hypothetical year I dreamed up was a good one for the Canuck, and Zydrunas isn't getting any younger to help in the lane (he's got worse knees than FDR). Plus, after Z the next on the star wagon is Larry Hughes, who is coming off of an emotionally and physically challenging season. 'Bron-bron is going to need to get close to that triple-double average everyone keeps talking about to pull that off (also, making it past the second round would help). What about B-B-B-Billups? Not a prayer. Come on now, if Chauncey wins that'll be a Fancy Day. How about Dirty Dirk? Aren't we all Nowitznesses? Please. Play D occasionally. You tower over everyone on the floor and you play like a 2-guard who's allergic to the paint. Block a shot and grab a board once and a while.
I'm tired of all this anti-Nash bull. Sure, he looks like a 12-year-old girl (and an ugly one at that), but there's no denying he had an MVP caliber year. Let the hosers win once and a while. Especially when the earn it.
Kobe? A joke to even ask. Kobe is Peyton Manning. Come back to me when you have a ring or two (on your own, please; Nash didn't have the most dominant player of the past 10 years in the paint when he got those MVPs). Speaking of that 7-foot behemoth, how about Shaq's MVP hopes? Doubtful. His back and knees (not to mention lungs) aren't what they used to be. Also, shooting a free-throw percentage comparable to most batting averages doesn't help. Lebron? Possibly. I imagine he will one day be the MVP ten straight times, but next year? That hypothetical year I dreamed up was a good one for the Canuck, and Zydrunas isn't getting any younger to help in the lane (he's got worse knees than FDR). Plus, after Z the next on the star wagon is Larry Hughes, who is coming off of an emotionally and physically challenging season. 'Bron-bron is going to need to get close to that triple-double average everyone keeps talking about to pull that off (also, making it past the second round would help). What about B-B-B-Billups? Not a prayer. Come on now, if Chauncey wins that'll be a Fancy Day. How about Dirty Dirk? Aren't we all Nowitznesses? Please. Play D occasionally. You tower over everyone on the floor and you play like a 2-guard who's allergic to the paint. Block a shot and grab a board once and a while.
I'm tired of all this anti-Nash bull. Sure, he looks like a 12-year-old girl (and an ugly one at that), but there's no denying he had an MVP caliber year. Let the hosers win once and a while. Especially when the earn it.
reubs wrote this piece of shit at 10:43 AM
2 smart ass remarks
